Oh, boy it’s been two months to the day since my last post…….. I got some catching up to do. I can tell that things are finally getting changed in my head, I am much more aware of more of my thoughts, it is becoming easier to replace the negative ones. I have also gotten pretty aware of the ‘self talk’ and much better at using that constructively. The index cards have helped with that, along with the book ‘What to say when you talk to yourself” that I began rereading again. I have seen some changes with the Franklin makeover, for example I have been leaving more good, kind, positive comments on people’s posts instead of just hitting ‘like’ and quickly moving on. I am also improving at the exercises; got a few things on the dream board. This is a process for sure, but I can finally see some changes so that is wonderful!
8 weeks, two full months already. I have learned new things, yet I feel as though I’m standing in a train station watching the train depart. I want to be happy, yet frustration comes in like a January blizzard. A few snowflakes first, then full on white out blizzard. Try to do something with the dmp, add to it, change wording, etc., it ends up in angrily shredded little pieces. I see the movie poster; blank. The shape/color pages, sitting in a nice neat stack; blank. Read the different readings, good interesting stuff but no ‘aha moments’ like other people have. I understand that much of the last several weeks were designed to build on and compound from the dmp, So much of it is based on that. So here I sit, with some mental block ( or something) about the dmp and the tools that build on it are blank. This is probably the longest post I’ve made on here and it’s mostly negative, go figure. I hope other folks are less frustrated than me, cuz it’s no fun to be that way. Well, been trying to think of something positive to close on, but it’s not happening right now. So apologies to whoever reads this, you may need to restart your mental diet again…..
Visualization, mental diet. Started and many times restarted the diet, it’s interesting how many times you might have to restart it even if you don’t talk to anybody for a couple days.
Movie posters, guess I never really paid much attention to those things before. Now it’s time to put one together for my movie, how I want to do things. Sounds simple enough, but I’ve been staring at a blank board for several days now. Mostly that seems to tie back to the dmp, being unsure/unfinished with that; makes smarty goals hard to pin down, makes for ideas for a movie poster but ultimately a blank sheet. Now the building/compounding is becoming quite apparent… Ugh… I can be what I will to be……. We’re only 6 weeks into this, eventually the concrete will show some gold somewhere.
4th week already?…. The GS read is getting to be a habit, although that midday read can be quite a stinker some days, but I am improving. Sorry this is really short, I’m a man of few words haha. Really just drawing a blank at what to say here this time.
Well this week was a challenge to stay with the daily readings and sit. I spent a few days helping my folks on the farm as it’s harvest time, it’s really hard to read while keeping an eye on augers and tractors bringing more corn in continuously… Still tons of resistance with the dmp, I have an idea, a picture in my mind, but putting it to words, well that’s another story. One *tiny* piece of concrete at a time, I guess.
Well, much like last week for me. The dmp is still a challenge, the reading is so easy not to do, but I am making progress at rewriting the old blueprint.